Week 1:

Ship Sinks O'Hanlon's on Opening Day / Fred Ibarra makes the All-Star List

There is nothing like Opening Day. The excitement in the air, freshly cut grass on the field, a sense of hope and opportunity and the feeling that all things are possible. The young rookies getting their first taste of the show and the seasoned veterans hoping for one last shot at glory. And what really kicks ass is when you win, which we did.

While it took some time to get used to, the new lineup seems to be working for the squad. In an exciting game that went into the bottom of the ninth all tied up, we pulled out a 10-8 victory to kick off the Spring 2002 season. We tied each of the first two round 3-3, with Jen scoring a victory in her first game ever, and Rich / Holly sweeping Cricket to keep the match tied going into Doubles 501. And then, just like Kirk Gibson and Bobby Thomson, we knocked one out of the park to win it. And then, unlike Gibson and Thomson, we went out to a piano bar and sang "Sweet Caroline".

Props:
Holly - A sweep! She's a Yankee Doodle girl.
Meredith & Jen - Solid starts for the rookies, with 2 wins and 214 combined AS points.
New York Magazine - For bulletin board material.

Week 2:

Week 3:

Ship Imports a Win (and some Chips and Matches)

As Woody Allen once said "90% of life is just showing up." Of course, the other 10% is doubling out... and bull. So, because the Imports only exported 4 people for the match, we got 6 points on forfeits and coasted to a 12-6 victory.

But that recap hardly sums up the night, as there were many highlights despite the fact that there were relatively few games. First off, Nikki underscored the importance of showing up by notching a S501 win, a C3, and a D501 forfeit win in her first match of the season. [So off the schneid.] Plus, Holly and Rich kept their undefeated streak intact by scoring 2 more Cricket wins. And, Fred racked up 188 more AS points, surpassing his total for all of last season in only 3 weeks.

But the rooks really stole the show, with a huge win in D501 to close the night. While we were guaranteed an overall victory, we needed a win in the final game to score a huge moral victory. Jen stepped up and doubled in on her third dart to start things off, just ahead of the Imports, who doubled in on their next turn. You would have never known they were rookies, as Jen and Meredith then proceeded to knock down points like it was their j-o-b. Meredith then slammed the door shut in her first shot at doubling out.

And then, as has become our custom, we went out to a piano bar and sang "Sweet Caroline".

Props:
Fred - For passing Frank on the All-Star list.
Meredith / Jen - My heroes.

Week 4:

Ship Hits Rough Waters "On the C"

It was a dark and stormy night. The Ship set out on the sea for a long voyage to a distant land. The storm clouds on the horizon foretold doom, but our intrepid adventurers forged ahead, determined to complete their mission and boldly go where no one has gone before.

The captains led the way in the first stage, winning the first two games of Singles 501. Jeremy waged a fierce battle, but was just edged out in the race to double "1", and Nikki ran into a raging torrent and was nearly washed overboard. But, with Fred's win, we were tied 3-3 going into Cricket. The stage was set with a split in the first game, but it proved to be the calm before the storm. Suddenly, the seas got rough and our little ship was tossed around in the fierce waves. The crew fought gallantly, but forces beyond their control seemed to take over. After eking out a split in the second game, we lost the final games, and were down 5-7 going into D501. At this point, the storm clouds broke open and the sea raged. We lost the first two D501 games, and it looked like the Ship might actually sink. But the crew rallied together, and fought back against the tumult. Nikki broke through with a double "2" to get on the board and a glimmer of hope emerged. Slowly but surely we fought back, and in the end we doubled out, making the final score 7-11. The storm passed and we made it through unscathed. Now on back to our home port, for another adventure.

Props:
Nikki - For cab fare.

Week 5:

Loud Drunks Quieted by Ship

The crew of the Ship is rapidly expanding. This season our family has added a new baby, a new brother-in-law and cousins crawling out of the woodwork. With our founder on hand to watch, along with many of our growing legion of fans, the Ship put on quite an entertaining show last night, in our huge 10-8 win over the Loud Drunks with Darts.

Although sparsely attended due to many in the crowd being distracted by our mascot, the Singles 501 round was well played. We won 4 games and took a commanding lead into Cricket. Unfortunately, Cricket proved to be a tough round, although we managed a split from Nikki / Meredith, and two hard fought games from Mindy and Fred that also ended in a split. With Rich / Jen dropping 2 games, we lost the round 2-4, setting the stage for Doubles 501.

With the match all tied going into D501, Fred and Nikki lost the first game in a very close contest. The second game was eerily reminiscent of last year's match at home against Finnerty's, in which Rich and Dave pulled out a close game against Jose and Matt. This time, it was Rich and Mindy pulling out a tight game against Jose and Ricky. So, after a long night of tough competition, all of the pressure fell on the newest shipmates, as the entire match came down to one last game.

For the second time this season, Jen and Meredith put together a phenomenal final D501 game to secure the victory for the team. At first it seemed as if no one wanted to double in, and the tension mounted with each attempt. The Drunks got in first with a 41, but Jen answered right back, getting in with a 38 on the next throw. From there, the former rookies took charge and quickly worked their way down to their out. With a few attempts from each team at getting out, Jen nailed the double "3" to seal the victory for the night.

With 3 wins in the 3 home matches this season, our fans are getting their money's worth.

Props:
Meredith / Jen - My heroes, again.
Mindy - For S501 and D501 wins and a split in Cricket.

Week 6

An Ode to the Ship (Redux)

You asked and you pleaded
You begged and you moaned.
Your calls have been heeded,
For another "Roadhouse Poem".

Back downtown the little Ship did sail,
To write another chapter of its ongoing tale.
The characters may have changed and Dewan was not there,
But there's beer and darts, so we don't care.
This time there was Rage, not Pirates, to face,
As the Ship went into a "Battle for Third Place!"

The match started out strong, or so it did seem.
Fred won his game and put the "I" back in "team".
And once again our rookies were a hit,
As Jen and Meredith won to give us a split.

We tried to select our Cricket players discreetly,
But Meredith drew some attention by missing the board completely.
After randomness had decided our fate, Jen and Fred did truly dominate.
But the rest of the round really gave us fits,
And we finished the round with another of our patented splits.
Plus the round cost us, as Jen was brought to her knees,
by a questionable bowl of Roadhouse Mac and Cheese.

As in weeks past, the match was tied, with Doubles 501 the round to decide.
We paired-up the best we can be, to try and take two out of three.
We even made an attempt to distract, with H 'n' M doing their G 'n' G act.
And Meredith's siren song nearly created a row,
As she proclaimed "I don't want a lap dance, I want a show!"
But all the distractions went for naught, as the matches were all well fought.
The first and second games both came down to the wire,
But we lost both and the situation was dire.
We won the last game and gave them a fight, making the final score 10-8 for the night.

We put on a good show for the sales force from Time.
They were so happy, in fact, that it was all on their dime.
We'll see you next week with your darts all pointy,
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

Props:
Fred - 315 AS points, 3 wins... now if you can just win at D501 .
Jen - 3 wins. I think the Mac n Cheese was spiked.

Week 7:

Bang! Bam! Pow!  Ship Fights Justice League

The entire crew was on deck for the match against the Justice League. We started out strong, taking four games in S501, including a Superman-like finish in Rich's match in which he came from way behind and won with a 78 Out (two 20's and a double 19).Our Cricket pairs played more like Gleek than the Wonder Twins, and we were only able to pull out 1 win in a comeback by Dave / Rich. They needed to hit a bunch of bulls to catch up in points, and then won in a rare ending for a Cricket game of two 16's. So, down 7-5, we needed 2 wins in D501 to tie the night and prevail over the Justice League.

Luckily, we had better luck against the Justice League than the Legion of Doom does. Dave and Jeremy proved to be a dynamic duo, as they started out with one of the most solid D501 games we've seen in a while. They doubled in right away, and opened up a 250 point lead before the other team even got in. With huge points in each round, they were down to the double out quickly, and wasted no time putting the game away. Mindy / Holly had a tough game, but almost came back to win before they were edged out. But then we pulled out the anchor of the Ship, our undefeated (3-0) Wonder Women team of Jen / Meredith, to get us the tie. They got in right away, and then assaulted the League pair. The League tried to mount a comeback, but their efforts to save the day were thwarted when Jen doubled out before they could do any damage.

So, it was fitting that we marked the half-way point of our voyage with a 9-9 tie. As we turn the corner of the season, we are sailing on an even keel. We are in the middle of the league (5 points out of the playoffs) and averaging about 9 points a night (50%). As a team, our overall winning percentage is 47% and our head-to-head record is 3-3-1.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice (aka Iggy's Bar).... a fiendish plot was being hatched to torture the ears of the citizens of Metropolis. I didn't need my spider sense to tell me that the singers were evil. Meredith saved the day with a rousing version of "Just A Girl", and Jeremy turned in a heroic effort on "Pour Some Sugar on Me". The nefarious villains fought back by butchering classics like "Dead or Alive", "Enter Sandman" and even "Yakety Yak". Resorting to the only weapon left to defeat this menace, our heroes countered with the extended remix version "American Pie" (plus the hypnotic dance accompaniment). Lulled into a state of calm, the villains were foiled, left with only harmless Pat Benatar songs and a clichéd "New York, New York". The menace was gone and our heroes will go on to fight another week.

Props:
Mindy - 138 AS points. Off the schneid.
Dave - 325 AS points, 1 Cricket and D501 romp (w/ Jeremy).
Meredith & Jen - Big win to secure the tie, and in perfect harmony.

Week 8:

Ship Too Damn Good-Looking

Statistics, schmagistics. After careful study and in-depth analysis, it has been determined that proficiency in darts has nothing to do with practice. Won / Loss percentage, partner pairings, past performance all mean nothing. In the end, it appears that the less attractive you are, the better you are at darts. Frankly, what else could explain these guys from the scary Canadian team, and the Ship's 13-5 loss to O'Hanlon's?

Rich, playing in a suit that upgraded his appearance to "passable", started off the night by getting crushed by Kowalski. Then, the lovely Holly and Meredith both lost close games. Dashing Fred (6 - 2) and stunning Mindy (5 - 1) extended their strong records in S501, where they have consistently and fortuitously been matched up against a string of Victoria's Secret models and Brad Pitt. (Oddly, they have also consistently played trolls and gnomes in their D501 matches, where they have a combined record of 1 win and 11 losses. Apparently there's no "I" in the beholder of doubles.) Then, in a heartbreaking ending, Nikki lost when her troglodyte opponent got out from 77.

When paired up, the Ship's attractive powers multiply, causing real trouble with Cricket and D501. In the Cricket round, the strapping Fred and sultry Meredith lost two hard-fought matches. Sexy Mindy and exotic Nikki, who should absolutely never win together, amazingly managed a split. (Their win was credited more to their lack of practice than to attractiveness, which is a corollary to the newly discovered phenomena that must be researched further.) Rich and Holly didn't stand a chance in their match against two ogres. While Holly tried her best to buck the trend, even her heroic effort was not enough to overcome the disparity between pulchritude and repugnance.

In order to overcome their combined splendor, The Ship needed a sweep in D501 to tie up the match. While everyone else in the bar was becoming more attractive with each passing beer, Rich and his Cokes managed to maintain their unsightliness, allowing him to double out for a win to start D501. But the exquisite team of Fred and Mindy were doomed from the start, and the dazzling pair of Meredith and Holly were so gruesome-impaired that they needed some magic to avoid an embarrassing midget tossing.

When it comes right down to it, we look marvelous, and we pay a price for it.

Props:
Holly - For the lineup.
Meredith - The Einstein of darts theory.

Week 9:

You Don't Mess Around With The Ship

A little karaoke, to the tune of "You Don't Mess Around With Jim":

Uptown got it's hustlers
West 3rd Street got it's bums
The Pussycat has the Brew Crew
Some dart-throwin' son of a guns
Yeah, they're big and dumb as a man can come
But the darts they can surely toss
And when you go to the NYDO site
They all call Da Brew Crew "Boss"

Well outta the North came a fiesty team
Good-lookin', fun-lovin' and hip
A dart-throwin' squad
With a dollar and a dream
You know them as The Ship
They came lookin' for the team at the top of the league
That was wearin' headbands like a bunch of dorks
We knew we had a chance
As we stepped up to the dance
And it was time to throw some corks.

Undaunted, The Ship stepped up with guts
Two Singles 501 games were won
Fred continued his streak
And Holly rolled along
After starting her game with a Ton
In Cricket two games were taken
Setting the match at eight to four
And like it has so many times
It came down to doubles 501 once more.

Well a hush fell over the dart room
When Mindy played with her cut-up hand
With her gutsy performance
She set the stage
For Meredith and Jeremy to take a stand
We took two points, you should have seen their faces
And you can bet we weren't done
And you better believe
They sung a different kind of story
When big Fred hit Double-one.

Now they say...

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with The Ship

Props:
The Squad - 8 points against the top team is a solid night.
Meredith - Treble, Treble, Treble. 15, 16, 17 and 19, all in one game.
Mindy - For snubbing the DL and laughing at pain.
Jeremy - 96 AS points, 2 wins
Fred - Off the schneid in D501.
Jim Croce - For the lyrics.

Week 10:

Week 11:

Papa Got a New Pair of Shoes

Rich, Fred and Mindy hit AC on Saturday, and brought back some fortune for lucky week eleven. The cards were stacked in our favor, as we were back in our home port and the Indigents didn't bring along a full house. At home, we have outscored our opponents 65-43 (versus 31-77 on the road) and with only 3 people on their team, anyone who bet against the Ship this week was facing long odds.

In S501, we only played 3 games. Holly drew their ace in the first game and, despite a valiant comeback, lost a tough match. Rich and Mindy cashed in with wins in their matches, and 3 forfeits gave the Ship a 5-1 lead after S501. Fred / Mindy doubled down to start out Cricket, taking both games of their 2-on-1 match. Holly / Nikki split the aces in their match, and with the final game forfeit, we took another 5 points in Cricket.

By the time we got to D501, we were up 10-2 and playing with the house's money. While it would have been easy to let down, we kept the pressure on, even though two of the games were 2-on-1. Jeremy / Holly started things off with a win. Rich / Nikki fought a war of attrition, before Nikki finally ended it by hitting the point. In the last game, Fred/Mindy faced a strong opponent, but Mindy's Ton-33 and Fred's Ton opened up a big lead. With Fred's double-out, we sealed a sweep in D501 and a final score of 16-2.

It might not have been as fun as a 12-1 payoff on "match the dealer", but it's still money in the bank.

Props:
Mindy - 3 earned wins (no forfeits), 331 AS points. And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Week 12:

Meredith Kline Kicks Ass!